In classical Arabic, al Qahirah (Cairo in Arabic) literally translates as "the victorious," in its more appealing sense. It is a city that has been continuously inhabited longer than any other location on earth, dating from the days of On and Memphis to Fustat up until today. Its relevance fluctuates, even within Egypt, but Cairo has always been one of the most important cities in the world. And more remarkable than anything else is its bizarre ability to persist in spite of the various absurdities that seem to govern its existence.
al Qahirah also translates as "the oppressor." Lately, this has felt very true. There have been so many strange contradictions that have really added a lot of stress to my life. Even though I've always noticed them, they've sort of lost their humor now that I've realized what their implications are for the society that couches them and for myself being trapped in it. The proximity of my departure probably spurs some of these sensations as well. There are two things in particular that have been really heavy on my mind: the extent of sexual repression in the Arab world and the bizarre tourist-Cairene relationship.
I never had some silly idea that Islam itself breeds terrorism here. I knew anti-Semitism would be an issue, but not one I would have to deal with or witness because it isn't culturally obvious daily. On the other hand, I have never seen a more sexually bizarre people than the Arabs. Egyptian life is incredibly family-centric, which probably has something to do with this. If someone isn't approved by the family, the marriage won't happen. Furthermore, dating really only happens here after someone's family member introduces the couple to each other, and yes, they are often cousins. That said, with the current generation of youth with their intermingling at school, this seems to be changing, and I do see younger people walking around the street together. However, for the most part, there is a very strict gender segregation in groups of friends, and they are usually either roving bands of young men looking for white women to harass or Egyptian women to talk to or groups of women looking for husbands.
I've come to realize that this has little, if anything to do with the repression of women in the society. While men do have a disgustingly misogynistic take on the roles of women, what is more significant and what in part creates this is the strict separation of genders in society and the sexual repression that exists within this context. I feel just as much pity for Arab men as I do women. They live in a very "look, even gawk, but don't touch" society where they will harass and grope women all they want, but that's largely because, frankly, they won't get anything more than that until they get married. Men here have this nutty idea that marriage is their first desire, and I don't even really know what women think on it. My roommate is currently getting text messages from an Arab man she mistakenly gave her number to that in the same sentence call her a "bitsh" for not texting him back and told her he loved her. Mind you, they talked for literally two minutes, and apparently this man knows he loves my roommate.
It is unnatural. A man's sex drive is peaking around the time he is 25. A female's most ripe age for child-rearing is around 18. There is a biological reason for these urges, and a society that resists them the way Egyptian culture does invites nothing but the problems we see highlighted constantly in Western media. I don't like that we've tried to define it within our terms, because the problem is so much deeper than gender repression. It has everything to do with the wholesale sexual repression of a society by its culture, which enables the segregation of men and women and thus allows the two to be treated as different groups in society.
The tourist-Egyptian relationship can be really bizarre sometimes. In general, I love Egyptians. In spite of our various communication barriers (slang being by far the biggest one), most Egyptians thoroughly enjoy Americans and are madly in love with the idea of America. While some will talk to you on the street telling you they have a cousin in Minnesota (universally, Minnesota. There is no other state they mention) and they have a business card to give you, only to attempt to sell you things, the vast majority are just glad to talk to you and hear about how you are doing, where you are from, and how you like Egypt. The most commonly heard phrase on the streets of Cairo by a clear margin is "welcome to Egypt!" These are the Egyptians I love.
There are also those that are willing to take advantage of the lack of structure in the society to screw over tourists. I recommend anyone that comes here to have a good idea of what they are doing before they do or have someone to show them around. Otherwise you'll risk paying an arm and a leg for something that you never should pay for. The other night I went with Phil, Kiki, and Ben to an Indian restaurant in Zamalek, an island in the middle of the Nile. A cab ride from Zamalek to Downtown on a normal metered cab costs 7 pounds. I flagged down a cab on the way back, got in, and the guy asked me if I wanted to use the meter. I was a bit of a bonehead and said yes. If a cabbie has a meter and is going a short distance, they will drive you in circles to drive up the rate, which he did. We could have gone straight across the island to the 6th of October bridge and from there straight to Downtown. Instead, he drove all the way to the bottom of the island, back up, and then across the bridge. I knew this, but I didn't anticipate paying more than ten pounds. We arrived at our desired location, and from my vantage point in the front seat relative to the low-sitting meter, it looked like 11 and a half LE, which is expensive, but I wasn't going to argue. When I give the driver 12 pounds, he looks at me like I'm crazy and asks for 17. I sure as hell knew that wasn't a 17 pound cab ride, so I gave him the money and walked away (standard practice when you know you're getting screwed). The guy gets out of the cab and starts walking toward me, screaming for his five pounds. I yelled back, and fought the guy down. It probably helped that there was a cop down the street, but there was no way in hell that man was going to get my pound.
Looking back on the incident, it seemed pretty ridiculous. I felt bad when I realized the meter had said 17 instead of 11, but the guy deliberately screwed us in driving a long way. I threw a fit over one dollar, in public. So when I put it down like that, it sounds like the stuff nightmares are made of. I remember when Yury, my real estate agent, would do the same thing, and how it was awkward to watch because I didn't want to be associated with his diatribe. But after having lived here for a while, thinking in terms of LE, and feeling less like a tourist and more of a resident, there is nothing in the world I have come to hate more than when people try screwing me, no matter how much I think something should cost. It has become a matter of principle. I honestly hope the trend keeps itself in the US, because I didn't stand up for myself enough in the states. It's funny, though. If someone tried doing this to me in the states, I would freak out on principle, even if it was over a marginal amount of change. It has a lot to do, I think, with the sensation that the country is somehow yours, and you are thus entitled to be treated as anyone else in it. I get that feeling here, and it is in a really weird way home. I'll be glad to get home, but I'll miss Cairo a lot.
